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Preview: Oh, The Places You’ll Go: Streaming’s Class of 2022

As our tech companies graduate into behaving like grown-ups, The Ankler has a few awards



Valedictorian! Apple’s $100m Misadventure

When you’re a red hot tech company, like say, Apple, you come barging in to show Hollywood how it’s done.

With apologies to Dr. Seuss:

You have brains in your head.
You have money to lose.
You can steer your service
any direction you choose.
You’ve won one Oscar. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the mogul who’ll decide where to go.

Which, as in the case of Project Artemis, involves setting up a $100 million film, and having your celebrated director walk out because of “creative differences.”

The deal was made the week after Apple won the Oscar, and in the heat of the moment, the Cook-and-Cue designates were setting up mega-projects all over the place. In another world, you might have spent a little more time kicking the tires on a project, talking to the folks involved making sure you had something solid before you committed to spending $100 million.

But who’s got time for such fussy formalities when you’re reinventing entertainment, and have an Oscar to prove it?



Details on this one were scarce other than it was set amid the space race, was to star Chris Evans and Scarlett Johannsen, and to be directed by Ozark auteur Jason Bateman.

In another world, talent and/or director might feel abashed about walking out on a $100 million dollar project. Or agents might intervene and find a way to get everyone back on track before you an unfortunate headline arises. Or these companies that just swear how “talent friendly” they are might have been in contact with the talent when trouble started brewing and stepped in to smooth things over and find ways to make everyone happy again.

But all that touchy-feely nonsense…where’s the data to show that’s impactful?

So instead, you’re stuck with a $100 million dollar project with no director. Hoorah for the new paradigm!

Flemingism of the Week

“We’re hearing from sources that Bateman and These Pictures amicably and mutually have chosen to part ways on the pic due to creative differences. I’m told that both sides respect the other’s work and will continue to hunt for the right project to collaborate on down the road.” Deadline


Salutatorian: Sony and Kevin Hart

In the topsy-turvy upside-down world of entertainment circa mid-streaming war, yesterday’s goat Sony has become today’s hero thanks to its recent string of successful theatrical releases.

And all praise due to both the releases themselves and for their devotion to theatrical, their description of themselves as an arms dealer in an arms race notwithstanding.

But it is slightly easier to rack up a winning record when you are releasing mainly sure things, e.g., Spider-man movies and spin-offs. And dump anything that has a so-so screening on the streamers and pocket the cash.

This has been a sneak preview of today’s edition of The Ankler, the industry’s secret newsletter. To read the rest of this issue, subscribe today for just $17 a month and don’t miss out on who’s in the hot seat next!

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