Based on the headlines of the last week around Netflix’s theatrical release of Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery, I should be celebrating. Take a gander at what I wrote in June.

Cue the air horns! Fire off the confetti cannons! I called my shot and it came through!

But… not so fast. As much as I’d love to take a victory lap over news of Glass Onion’s one-week theatrical release, I can’t. As many Twitter commentators have noted, this isn’t quite the win for “theatrical releases” that I predicted in June. This release is not a wide, marketing-backed theatrical event; it’s more of a marketing exercise than anything else.

So let’s explain exactly what is happening here at the never-say-never company (theatrical and advertising bombshells all in one week? mon dieu!), and the data backdrop to the decision. Then, we’ll speculate on what comes next.

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