Consider this issue a bit of a desk clearer. The news about the Entertainment Thunderdome has come in so hot over the past couple weeks that our normal coverage of Hollywood madness has been repeatedly preempted.
But there are some things that we just can't sleep until we've properly come to terms with them here. So a little catching up on what we've missed while the hell fires erupted.
Two for the Seesaw
By my count, as of this writing, there are two (2) major studios fully invested in the film business. That's two, a number slightly more than one and not that much more than zero.
Those two being, of course, as of this writing: Universal and Disney.
Fox is gone. Warners is, until further notice, out of the game.
Then there are Sony and Paramount, which were struggling with major ups and downs pre-plague but are having a nice little time of the pandemic unloading their films on streaming services.
As Michael Schamberg pointed out in a very wise column at Deadline (it happens!):
Legacy studios like selling to streamers because they lock in a profit without risking tens of millions in advertising plus the film’s budget. Paramount made more money this year offloading Coming to America 2 and The Trial of the Chicago 7 to Amazon and Netflix, respectively, than they did in theaters . . . .
So when this is over, are those two going to rush back to re-ignite their shaky theatrical businesses? Or given that the streaming war is only going to fuel ever bigger bidding battles, have they found a niche where they're going to be pretty happy for the time being?
All of which is to say, again, we might well be down to two studios fully in the movie business.
And even for them, the tech/Wall Street analysts have become a digital death cult on all this. Do you think when the window is officially dismantled and day-and-date is the law of the land they are going to be satisfied? Not a bit. The goalpost will instantly move from “simultaneous release” to “Why are you putting your digital crown jewels in the theaters at all?” Why, they’ll demand, are you robbing the precious streaming services so you can be part of this grimy old theatrical business?
I don't like fatalistic thinking because the definition of entertainment is anything can happen, but if that is the case—or even in the neighborhood of the case—the implosion to come, almost imminently, will be like nothing we've ever experienced.
So that's fun! What else is going on?
Married to the Bob
The biggest thing that jumps out from the 19-hour Disney Investor Day jubilee is made clear by this random selection of Deadline headlines:
This isn't just reaching into the vault, it’s strip-mining the IP mountains until nothing is left but a cloud of dust.
Just 10 new Star Wars shows? Why not 1,000?
When you're reaching down for reboots of Turner and Hooch and Sister Act, better hope they work because you're not leaving much on the table for a next act.
They're an inch away from having to do the unthinkable: make some original stories.
Although you can always take an original pitch—"A fireman who's scared of heights teams up with an orphaned Doberman"—and say "What if that happened 300 years before the fall of the Empire?" Presto: You've got IP.
This has been a preview of today’s edition of The Ankler, the industry’s secret newsletter. To read it all, subscribe today for just $10 a month and don’t miss out on who’s in the hot seat next!
Also in this edition:
• What do Disney’s VOD’s have in common?
• The Max twists in the wind!
• Oscar puts its fingers in its ears!
• Who loves CAA thisssss much?
And so much more!
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