Ankler 100: Worst of the Worst
Part two of the great ignominies of the year, and I crown a winner!
Welcome back to the Ankler 100, my annual chronicle commemorating the most cringe-worthy, head-scratching moments in what Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos might call “the combination of sports and circus” that is the entertainment industry. Someone has to sweep up before the big tents fold up for the holidays — and that’s me. Today I take you through #48-1 (in no particular order) to set you off into the break with a song in your heart; if you missed part one, #100-49, catch up here.
To Live and Die in L.A.
48. What’s Old Is New: Reboots, remakes, revivals and reimaginings announced in 2024 (a very incomplete list) include The Four Seasons, Karate Kid, The War of the Roses, The Matrix, Legally Blonde, Bridget Jones, Kiss of the Spider Woman, Melrose Place, The Blair Witch Project, Heroes, The Running Man, Scary Movie, The Smurfs, Malcolm in the Middle, Friday Night Lights, The Naked Gun, Scrubs, Attack of the 50 Ft Woman, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Jumanji, The Princess Diaries, Rugrats, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, One Tree Hill, Friday the 13th, Daredevil, 24, Dance Moms, Pirates of the Caribbean, Charlie’s Angels, The Office, Hollywood Squares, Scooby Doo, 9 to 5, Clue, Cold Case, An Officer and a Gentleman, Barbarella.
47. Too Little, Decades Too Late: After L.A.-based production plummets by more than half in just three years — with film shoots all but wiped out in the region — Governor Newsom announces a coalition and meager package of proposed incentives in a hope to keep production in state. Years after the animals have fled, these are the people who’ll now shut the barn door.
46. No Accounting for Taste: A study reveals that the number of people working in Hollywood with liberal arts degrees has plummeted while the number with MBAs has soared.
45. Celebs They’re Just Like Us, I: After decades atop the hip-hop world, P Diddy is arrested for allegations of sexual abuse at parties at which seemingly the entire Hollywood celebrity establishment was present. The fallout beyond Diddy: zero.
44. Celebs They’re Just Like Us, II: After Ellen DeGeneres’ nice girl/everybody’s best friend image is shattered by revelations of years of over-the-top nastiness and a workplace built on a climate of fear, she attempts a comeback with a Netflix special. In the run-up to the show, she reveals the reason she was sidelined was that she set expectations too high by branding herself as nice: “Here’s the problem. I’m a comedian who got a talk show and I ended the show every day by saying, ‘Be kind to one another.’ Had I ended my show by saying ‘Go f**k yourselves,’ people would’ve been pleasantly surprised to find out I’m kind.” Former employees disagreed that that is what anyone would have found out. After the special airs, DeGeneres announces she is leaving the U.S. and moving to England.
43. Winning the Last War: Coming a year after the WGA and SAG-AFTRA ended their respective strikes, the middle ranks of both professions are a hair away from entering the endangered species list with layoffs, cutbacks, cancellations and offshoring raging freely, making many wonder what those strikes were even about and whether the Guilds were fighting the wrong battles.
Warner Bros. Discovery
42. Unforgiven: Warner Bros., Clint Eastwood’s home as an actor and filmmaker for 50 years, creator of some of its biggest hits and most celebrated titles, releases Juror No. 2, his 40th and likely last film, in only 50 theaters, with no marketing campaign and no box office reporting.
41. Down in Front: As rolling layoffs continue on seemingly forever, David Zaslav becomes one of America’s most ubiquitous courtside presences, pictured constantly taking in glitzy games and matches in box seats and courtside with an endless parade of celebrity besties including, of course, Elon himself.
