Mouse of Cards

From the December 19th issue of The Ankler So a week in, we all get what this deal is all about, right?  Everyone? The main takeaway from the coverage so far: It will be big! Big all over! Big where it counts!  Look out Netflix! Or as Deadline dutifully put it, (do they ever put it any other way?) “The deal, officially valued at $66.1 billion including assumption of debt, will create an entertainment colossus that expands Disney’s footprint in every area.” Expanded in every area!  And that’s good, right? There’s been a lot of talk about Disney’s now unparalleled filmmaking capacity, as if they didn’t already have as much of that as they wanted; as if they were only making six movies a year because they couldn’t find anyone to rent them a soundstage or give them notes on the scripts they had piled up. The fact that people are flailing around

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AND THEN THERE WERE FIVE

FROM TODAY’S ANKLER: The good news is, after a hundred years of showbiz, Disney has repealed the Goldman Law. For a century now, we’ve been governed by one immutable principle – that Nobody Knows Anything, eventually codified by William Goldman. The Goldman Law does not refer just to the notion that we’re overseen by clueless venal con artists looking for a quick score and to cash out (although that’s often also the case). The principle invokes the essential nature of entertainment, which is perhaps the one product in the world where novelty is the only essential ingredient. If you’re in the food business, innovation is a constant, but more or less, you know that five years from now, people will want their sandwiches to look like sandwiches and their tacos, still to be, with tweaks and refinements, tacos. In the petroleum industry, people may want cleaner fuel, cheaper fuel, but basically you

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NETMARE ON UNDERWHELM STREET

From yesterday’s Ankler: In two weeks, Netflix will premiere Bright. Starring Will Smith and Joel Edgerton – real movie stars – directed by David Ayer – a real movie director – the film is said to have cost somewhere in the time zone of $120 million – real money. So why does Bright not feel like a real film? More specifically, subjective though this question may be, why does Bright feel give off the same sense that so many Netflix Movies of the Week do – of looking like a movie that people in a movie go see, rather than a movie that real life people see. Having not seen it, this isn’t to suggest there’s anything wrong with Bright; for all I know it may be Citizen Kane. Certainly just about every studio has made a movie or three far more preposterous than the package described above, based on worse material. And yet, it doesn’t feel like a major

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